Happy late Valentine’s Day! Continuing the series of Religious Customs and Death Customs of random Dreamland cultures, here is 50 (plus change) random Love and Marriage Customs for the strange societies of Dreamland.
This list contains weird love customs from the writings of Marco Polo, 1970s science fiction novels, and other sources. For some players, love & marriage may make an interesting hook for Dreamlands adventures, and appropriate to the fairytale theme, but others may find the subject matter inappropriate. (Certainly, whatever your gaming group, something on this list will seem inappropriate.) Substituting “kisses” for “sex” may make certain customs more playable for some groups, but use gaming safety tools and at the very least, require an out-of-character opt-in at the start of the adventure before making any player the object of an NPC’s crush or affection. See this blogpost on Love in Dreamland for more thoughts. (The final Dreamland rules will contain a section on responsibly DMing & playing love stories.)
In most parts of Dreamland, a proper marriage involves the exchange of wealth. In less materialistic societies, this may be a symbolic gesture such as flowers or a ring, but many cultures require a expensive dowry or bride/groom price. Exactly who gives money to who may depend on gender (in the local matriarchal or patriarchal tradition) or the relative social status of the betrothed. The cost of a wedding, in addition, must fall upon someone and may be enormous.
50+ Love and Marriage Customs
1-2 polygamous (men may have up to 3D10 wives)
3-4 polyandrous (women may have up to 3D10 husbands)
5-6 no marriage; people have sex with whomever they choose
7-8 no marriage; people have sex openly in mass orgies
9-10 marriage is considered to require three or more people, who take different social roles
11-12 those who wish to marry must undergo tests of skill and/or combat
13-14 marriages are decided by group competitions in which one gender competes for preferred spouses of another gender (footraces, fighting tournaments, etc.)
15-16 no woman/man may marry before they have killed an enemy
17-18 unmarried adults have no rights and are second-class citizens, possibly being subject to execution or exile
19-20 marriages are temporary, ending when one party leaves for a certain amount of time, by mutual consent, or by a simple action which can be taken by one of the spouses
21-22 dead people are ritualistically married to one another (or to the living)
23-24 little or no interest in romantic love or sex; their sexual behavior is entirely narcissistic and onanistic
25-26 sexually aggressive (1-2=men only, 3-4=women only, 5-6=all genders)
27-28 men must pay the mother before marrying the daughter
29-30 like certain types of beasts, the people have a “mating season”, and have little or no interest in sex at other times (reproduction and childbirth may even take the form of public holidays)
31-32 spouses are inherited property (1-3=upon the father’s death, the son inherits the father’s wives, 4-6=upon the mother’s death, the daughter inherits the mother’s husbands)
33-34 incestuous
35-36 obsessed with virginity and chastity
37-38 scornful of virgins; value sexual experience
39-40 believe it is an honor to sleep with strangers
41-42 auction off prospective brides/grooms for money
43-44 the custom is to let strangers take the virginity of new spouses, for good luck
45-46 know the secret of transferring embryos; the wealthy pay or compel the poor to birth their children for them
47-48 marriages are arranged by families; brides and grooms are forbidden from viewing their spouse before they marry
49-50 marriages are arranged by the state or ruler for eugenics purposes
51-52 inheritance depends on gender (1-5=daughters cannot inherit, 6-10=sons cannot inherit)
53-54 refusing a romantic advance is a crime
55-56 having insufficient children is a crime; or, people without children have no rights
57-58 do not understand how sex works; believe women produce children magically without male involvement (for them, this belief may be true)
59-60 a romantic act which is common to the dreamers (i.e. kissing, hugging, taking off your clothes) is unknown to them
61-62 the concept of “love” is unknown to them
63-64 their city/culture has the greatest love songs (or love poems) in the world
65-66 their city/culture has the most beautiful ‘love gifts’ in the world (flowers, candies, elaborately decorated cards, lingerie, etc.)
67-68 their city/culture is considered “passionate and romantic” by the neighboring cultures; this reputation may or may not be deserved
69-70 their city/culture is considered “uptight and sexually repressed” by the neighboring cultures; this reputation may or may not be deserved
71-72 their city/culture is considered “sexually deviant and kinky” by the neighboring cultures; this reputation may or may not be deserved
73-74 casual sexual encounters are common at a particular time of day or in a particular location (roll 1d6: 1=underground, 2=public restrooms, 3=bathhouses, 4=cemeteries, 5=temples, 6=rooftops, 7=alleyways, 8=the nearby forest or jungle, 9=in the shadow of certain great monuments or public sculptures, 10=outside in the fog, rain or another type of concealing weather); this is an unspoken custom which is known to some or all of the people, but probably not to outsiders
75-76 practice bestiality (perhaps the people are able to speak the language of the particular type of creature they are most attracted to, making it potentially more of a consensual relationship)
77-78 do not have sex (roll 1d10: 1=reproduce scientifically via artificial insemination, 2=reproduce via magic, 3=the people are plantlike and children are grown from seed in gardens, 4=the stork delivers babies, 5=the Great Ones apparently deliver babies to those who pray for them in the proper way, 6=craftsfolk magically create children out of clay or some inanimate material, 7=they ‘sleep together’ without sex and dream children into existence, 8=they convert prized animals or pets into human children using a spell or injection, 9=they have no solution and the society is slowly dying off as a result, 10=the society steals or buys babies from neighboring cultures)
79-80 sex is illegal (this may be a longstanding custom or a recent injunction by the current rulers; DM determines whether the townsfolk secretly break the law; if not, see 77-78 for ideas of how they might reproduce)
81-82 believe having as much sex as possible, and as many children as possible, is the primary purpose of existence
83-84 accidental marriages; it is possible for the inhabitants to unwittingly become married to strangers or to each other by performing certain actions or breaking certain social rules
85-86 prefer to have sex in their sleep, perhaps solitary (?) sex with ‘dream lovers’ (who may be imaginary, demons, or fellow sleepers who are astrally projecting)
87-88 cannot have sex without elaborate prostheses, mechanical devices or drugs
89-90 believe a certain part of the body is extremely erotic, and require that it be covered in public (1=nape of neck, 2=eyes, 3=ears, 4=entire face, 5=fingers or toes, 6=mouth, 7=spine, 8=fat, 9=bones; emaciated people are considered supremely erotic, 10=other)
91-92 obsessed with love potions and charms
93 impossibly high beauty standards; the culture is obsessed with a small number of physically (and perhaps morally) perfect specimens
94 a matchmaker caste or gender judges all romantic questions, plans marriages and perhaps assigns partners
95 the people physically transform or access hidden powers at the height of passion
96 marriage celebrations are so elaborate, they take many weeks, months or years to complete (marriage may then be limited to the wealthy upper classes)
97 privacy is illegal; bedchambers and bathhouses can be viewed via peepholes, mirrors or remote viewing; the sex lives and intimate physical features of others are publicly known and commented upon
98 the people can magically borrow or steal some of the physical (or incorporeal) traits of those they sleep with; this may require intent, or may be involuntary (“when a couple has been together long enough they start to resemble one another”)
99 extraordinarily sexually gifted; anyone who sleeps with a local must make a Wisdom (discipline) challenge of 1D6+4 or they are Spellbound by the pleasure and unwilling to leave town. If the player wishes, out of character, their character may fall In Love rather than being Spellbound.
100 have sex in a physically strange way (perhaps long-distance) that is not recognizable as sex to outsiders